He desires YOU, SINCERITY & your TIME

"But seek first [the] KINGDOM and His RIGHTEOUSNESS, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33 NIV

In other words it says, seek God first. Spend time with Him in conversation and His WORD. If you truly and sincerely do that because you want to do it, He will provide for you EVERYTHING you need. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW TRUE THAT IS. I personally have been witnessing this in my life in real time. God is so real and so faithful. But remember, it is a two way street!!! If you start seeking God after you haven't sincerely for awhile, it might seem like God is not hearing you or is not doing anything for awhile. That's when you have got to wait a little and have FAITH and show God you are truly inviting God into your life and that you want His provision.

Over two years ago, when I made a promise to myself that I will read the Bible daily and spend time worshiping God and speaking to Him, I remember things were VERY QUIET at first. I would sit on my bed in silence for long periods of time before I would find something to say to God. You know, God met me where I was. He would still come to me in His presence even when I was silent. I wouldn't say much because I wanted every word to be meaningful and not fake. I wanted my conversations with Him to be as natural and real as with people. I didn't want to just rumble how so many of Christians do and do not even remember what we prayed about.

It takes a little bit of time to restore the relationship ... it's awkward at first... ya know? The biggest thing you need to know is that God is listening to the sincerity of your heart even in silence. The fact that you are expressing the desire to spend time with Him and get to know God, He is already there for you. It also might feel like you are ashamed to talk to God after not talking to Him for so long. DO NOT listen to that, that is the devil making you feeling ashamed with hopes that you will just give up because it's uncomfortable to rekindle the conversation. God accepts you exactly how you are and He wants to hear from you.

I used to tell myself and others that I am so busy and that I really do not have time to read the Bible and pray, and attend services, unless it was a Sunday service. Ya know, all I will say now is that I have so much time now for my GOD!!! I become sick feeling if I do not read the WORD and speak to my Father. I all of a sudden do not have time for meaningless hang outs, social media hang out, (I'm still working on that one a little bit... :) I'm much better but still could be better), movies, shows.... I'm serious, being very honest, I have no time or interest in these things because I am now thirsting only more and more to be filled with the WORD of God, with the PEACE that He provides, with His Spirit and HIS PRESENCE. There is nothing better in this world. I can say that 100%!!! I am amazed that I am saying this now. It is true! And, I cannot believe how amazing things are going in every other area of my life. God is slowly changing things and I just want to praise Him day and night. He is so amazing!!!!!!!

Believe the WORD of God. It will become so evident in your life.

Pastor Henry Wright says in his book A more excellent way something very intriguing about tithing. What does it really mean? It's not just money. We have got to hung up on that. A lot of Christians just preach that and way too much about money, which is wrong. (I think the money part shouldn't be talked in church at all! If we pray and believe in God, He will provide. Some churches just have baskets by the door and who wants to, drops money in and those churches have never lacked for what they are praying for. God has met the financial needs of the church and their missions time after time. Isn't that a miracle?!) Anyway, Henry says, there are 168 hours in a week and so you must give 10% at least, to God alone. That means reading His word, speaking to Him, worshipping Him for your own growth and edification, first. That folks is 16.8 hours a week, only. That is about 2.4 hours a day. Think about it. How much time do you really give to God?

Everything is God's. Everything you own. You yourself are not even yours, you are God's because He created you. So, all of it is God's and should be for God. And, one needs to ask permission from God to do anything to oneself and when giving things away to others, also.

Bottom line....I have to say, if you do not spend time in God's word, prayer and worship, NEVER ASSUME OR AWAIT ANYTHING FROM GOD. It's impossible to become an adult in this journey of life with out that. It's impossible to have change happen in our families, our lives, our jobs, our hearts. It's impossible to have a truly amazing, meaningful and fulfilling life with that CONTINUOUS peace in your heart. It's impossible to reach your dreams and find a true purpose in life that will NEVER waiver. We were created with a void for a reason. And, no matter what we do, what we accomplish, we will still have that void, and it CAN ONLY BE FILLED WITH GOD, HIS SPIRIT, AND HIS WORD. AMEN.

I love you all. I pray that anyone reading this will be guided by the Lord and can accept and feel His perfect love. Make a small step everyday and you will live to see daily miracles and God's provision in your life.


With love, in the name of Jesus,
Antonina

ps... I would recommend you read the entire chapter of Matthew 6 not just verse 33 that I quoted above. It will give you spiritual food for days and it will begin to change your life.

ps 2... :) I all of a sudden don't even need to spend so much time practicing my craft (my daily practicing of my technique, I'm an operatic signer... it's like being an athlete. to stay in shape, I must practice daily my vocalizes, my breath, music I will be performing, etc...) and, miraculously things are coming together so fast and easy, and it's 100% because I seek God first and He provides everything else I need. It's like I'm doing more in less time when I give time to GOD. It really is an amazing thing. I think also because with God you are able to clean out and recycle a bunch of dirt and things you do not need in your heart and mind. God exchanges the old stuff with new living word and so your mind becomes free and not crowded with meaningless garbage. So when I go to practice, my mind is easily focused and the tensions of life, or fear, are not there to interfere with my voice. Our voice brings/mirrors EVERYTHING out that is in our mind, heart and soul. That's all it can do. Voice is a muscle, (two one centimeter long muscles in your throat vibrating against each other when air is sent through) and the thing that colors it, IS. YOUR. SOUL. As soon as I have some hard times in life, some fear, unforgiveness, sin, tension with somebody, all of that immediately shows up in my singing. It is 100% true.

REMIND. REPEAT. REFRESH.

It seems as though my FAITH had to be tested and strengthened once again in even harder way right after I shared the last post with you publicly. I shared what has been true in my life and it had to continue being true after I wrote it. It's as if I was tested after I spoke the words into existence. The devil would send me thoughts, "Oh, maybe all of that was a lie. Or even if it wasn't, you think you will keep those words? You will fail next time."

This time I want to share about FAITH, again. It's FAITH after I thought I had FAITH. Ya see, it's not that I didn't, it's that it's a new challenge EVERYDAY. Each day we have a new day, we once again have to RENEW our minds and our FAITH. It grows daily and the stronger it grows the more the enemy will try to probe you with new ways, thoughts, and ideas to try to stumble you. He will try to convince you that it's all in your head. But, the bible says, "We demolish arguments and every PRETENSION that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV) This is one of the most important verses in the bible that we must put into doing in our daily lives. You see, one pastor clarified the following aspect very clearly that the only thing the devil can do is deceive us. Where can he do that? In OUR BRAIN, OUR MIND. The very first story in the bible of the devil deceiving a human was in the Garden of Eden. He deceived Eve and Adam. He didn't actually make Eve take the forbidden fruit. He simply entertained the idea and deceived her, which then she went and made the action herself. He then sits back and laughs. He just chills while you are doing the actual sin. With his deceives he also immediately is able to produce fear in us. Think about it, Eve immediately thought, well, if I don't know something that God knows then it makes me weak, not good enough.... Do you get what I'm saying? It's like peer pressure births FEAR immediately. Therefore, every time he tries to project PRETENSIONS that are pretensions, which are complete LIES, we must arrest these thoughts and demolish them with the WORD of God. And, important to note, it says, DAILY. Just like you eat daily, brush your teeth, shower, tell your beloved I love you, change your kid's diapers, you have to renew your MIND that many times. RENEW means REMIND, REPEAT, REFRESH.

For example, I will share a few personal things I was battling with over the last few weeks in terms of continue to have FAITH for. I had this absence of PEACE for a few days. It was almost as if there was no reason for it. I talked about this PEACE in the last post. It is one of the most precious things we can have. It's this divine fullness in one's heart. Contentment and you just want to praise God for everything and all you do is with ease. All of a sudden, it was gone. I didn't stop reading the WORD, or conversing with my best friend, Jesus, or praising Him.... what changed then? I kept asking God to show me, what's up? After a few days, I finally understood, why. All of a sudden I was once again worried for my future, my financial stability, job stability.... I mean look, how can you just be relaxed when you know it just won't happen because looking at the situation right now you are going down and you will be just laughed at. Maybe you should go get a different career. OKAY, that's when it suddenly hit me, that is not God speaking to me. I once again, SURRENDERED everything to God again in prayer, I praised God for His mercy and faithfulness and renewed my mind in the Word of God. God is always encouraging us. He always supports us, lifts us up, guides us, advices us and loves us. One thing that He never will say that things are just not going to work out and you will fail. They might not work out how we planned but He always works things out according to His plan. The key is that THE THINGS WORK OUT! The devil just straight up says that you will fail, you are worthless, you are not good enough, people don't like you and why do you think anyone will want to hire you. The devil wants you to be in constant FEAR and WORRY. (Which this is for another post sometime in the future how we really don't believe in God and deny Him when we have fear, worry, and have anxiety.)

Once I acknowledged that I started to focus and dwell on these thoughts, there was like a sudden boom to be like, WAKE UP. Who's report are you going to believe????? Where is the FAITH you talked about? What does the WORD actually tell me?

"The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1 NIV Can this be any clearer? If I believe in God and I sincerely search Him, why would I ever worry about my future? All of a sudden the fear was going away because when you understand that you have the most important thing in your life, Jesus, salvation and peace, all worry and anxiety disappears. BOOM. THE LIES is DEMOLISHED that you won't make it.

When everything seems to be going against you.... but you depend on Jesus, "Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident." Psalm 27:3. When you strongly believe and hold to God's truth, NOTHING WILL SCARE YOU OR WORRY you. But, we must read His WORD to remember that to be able to DEMOLISH the lies.

This verse was a BIG reminder for me. Instead of worrying about tomorrow, or months or a year ahead, TAKE HEART. "Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14 How do you stay strong? You continue reminding and believing what Jesus promised. "And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." John 14:13-14

"Don't let your hearts be troubled!!!!!!!!!! TRUST IN GOD." John 14:1-2
"I am leaving you with a gift- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27 Peace is a gift because the only way to have TRUE everlasting PEACE is through CHRIST. So, it clearly says that when we worry or are troubled, it is not from GOD!!!!! THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. This is one of the biggest aspects we miss and misunderstand. I used to even take pride in my stress and my worry. It is so wrong. Anytime you have fear, anxiety, worry, troubled heart my friend, remember that it is not from God. Run to God and renew your mind. Refresh it in His WORD. It is simply the devil keeping you busy with his lies. The result of it is that you are not focusing on your day and what you need to accomplish that will advance your physical life and relationship with God. That is his goal is to side track you and that you will loose hope. When you renew your mind, he has NO POWER over you when you are in the WORD of GOD and not believing what the world tells you. The world cannot give you peace because the devil is the ruler of the "world." So if you believe the  FEAR the WORLD dictates to you with all the current events especially, he will have control over you but if you STAY in the WORD of GOD AND ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN THE WORD NOT JUST IN GOD's EXISTENCE, the devil then absolutely has no power over you. You will have no fear, but only complete confidence in CHRIST. (John 14:30-31)

I cannot stress the importance of prayer enough!!! That's where most of my victories were happening. Prayer and the WORD! And, remembering how God saw you through in the past. I reminded myself of what God did for me just recently. I asked God that I really want to be in Italy again this summer to strengthen my fluency in the language, and be among the culture I love so much and then a few weeks later out of nowhere, I get an invitation to be in Italy this summer. That was a MIRACLE and answer to my prayer. I said, God I surrender my worries about my career to you (I know I'm in God's will for this career anyway, so why would I worry when I know He is guiding it) and as I am doing one job, I get a call for another. SEARCH HIM FIRST... "Seek the kingdom of God above ALL ELSE, AND LIVE righteously, and HE WILL give you everything YOU NEED." Matthew 6:33 NLT Can I get an AMEN?! THIS IS the truth, you guys. It really is. When you attend to any relationship and love and understanding grows, everything seems to workout. With God, it is definitely true. The truth shall set you free. John 8:32 Then, I had a troubling tooth. As a former dental assistant, I could tell that there is a chance it has a crack and I could spot a possible decay. I prayed for God to give me a miracle and heal it or work out a way financially. What do you think..... a few days later I walk into a fine dental office, Downtown Columbus, OH, they see me for free, and two days later I have the most expensive crown there is with no complications, in my mouth, for $500 total. (Exactly what I had in my bank at that time.) I leave the office in tears because GOD GAVE ME A MIRACLE. The dental office actually lost money doing that. They made zero. How did that happen? Prayer and FAITH! (This was also during a time right before a major performance I had coming up.) So, why would I not continue having FAITH that GOD WILL PROVIDE and SEE ME THROUGH???!! I then was in a crazy scary car crash walking out WITH OUT A SCRATCH. HELLO!!! That's a miracle.

"Come to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3 THIS IS WORD! Come on..... how can I believe the lies... If I asked, and I have FAITH, and I continue to WAIT, God will answer even beyond what I asked!!!!!!

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 If your mind just cannot rest, go to Jesus. Speak to Him. Try not to focus on the problem itself but just spend time with Jesus. PRAISE HIM, search Him, meditate on HIM and things will start melting away. I'm speaking from EXPERI|ENCE. This is not just some mumble jumble.... I'm actually telling you what I personally experience. Jesus is REAL!!!

"Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4. This to me spoke as I continue searching Him. Praise Him. Be content with him what He has already done and continue waiting, He will give you the desires of your heart. Take delight in Him. HE ALREADY PROMISED THAT YOU WILL GET TO THE OTHER SIDE. I was at a wonderful prayer service in the middle of Manhattan and I was so refreshed and encouraged. (I was in awe of how many hundreds of people came to pray together!) I was just crying non stop happy tears. When you are speaking to God and you are in HIS presence, everything melts away and you just want to abide in it forever. The thing is, that you can be in HIS presence DAILY! Anyway, the pastor pointed out that when Jesus said, let's go to the other side of the lake, that means he COMMANDED it. There was no maybe, or let's try, it was a SPOKEN COMMAND we are going to the other side. That means it will happen NO MATTER WHAT. Yes, there was a storm. IT DIDN'T MEAN THAT IT WILL STOP YOU FROM GETTING TO THE OTHER SIDE. NO MATTER WHAT, if you keep your FAITH IN HIM, YOU WILL GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!

You want your MIND to also be in SHAPE.... REMIND, REPEAT, REFRESH ... the moment you stop, you disintegrate

I know... my posts are probably too long.... I'm sorry, but I have to share when I share.


I pray that this serves as encouragement and fellowship to you and may God be praised through this!

With great love,
Antonina

xx

WALKING BLINDLY

Lately, God has been teaching me what FAITH is. What it means that God will answer when you put your FAITH in Him. For the past few weeks I have been sharing my testimonies and miracles with friends and family, and I always conclude with FAITH in God.

What does it mean?

To me, it means closing your eyes and literally walking blindly knowing, believing that God is holding your hand. When you trust in God, that's what that means, literally. It's tough to do.... very hard to do, but when you do, that's when you know one hundred percent you are ACTUALLY trusting Him and not just saying you are. You are actually believing Him. You trust Him and you do not intrude with your own understanding or try to speed up the process, or aid God in giving you an answer. FAITH means surrendering to Him the particular situation, question, concern, or dream you have and it means WAITING while He answers in His timing and in His way. God does not need you to help Him to help you.

If you are praying with out BELIEVING God can and will answer you, then you are waisting your time. You cannot ask/speak to God and be a pessimist.

FAITH in God to me is standing on the edge of the cliff and believing with every fiber of my being that I will stand, I will not fall. It's an uncomfortable spot physically but VERY thrilling spiritually. It is also like walking a tiny rope from one sky scraper to another. It is that extreme, to me at least. It's both difficult and easy at the same time.

You know, we pray about things and say, God, please help me, show me, provide me, deliver to me, and the very next moment we go and try do something ourselves. We are lying to God and to ourselves. We end up not actually believing in God's very own existence when we do not have FAITH that He will answer to our need. So what, if you go to church and worship God and you tell others of this God, and you pray to this God, but you actually do not have FAITH that He will answer your prayer, your need, your dream, your problem? You end up then denying everything God is. WE DENY GOD AN OPPORTUNITY TO BLESS US, TO ANSWER US, TO PROVIDE HIS WAY when we don't walk blindly in FAITH. Do you realize how often you intrude and destroy God's opportunity to lead you the right way? When you pray, it means you must surrender it, all of it, all 100%, and you leave it, and then you have got to learn to WAIT until you get the answer or God prompts you to do the next step towards the answer. Sometimes God answers us but because we disagree with it we deny it. We have to learn how to be content even if we disagree with the outcome. We have to be content in the fact that God's ways are perfect (Psalm 18:30), in fact, "flawless" and even if it seems so wrong and unjust to us, (Deuteronomy 32:4) we must rejoice and know that God has a reason. We must wait for an answer with out telling God what the answer should be. Why do you ask Him then in the first place if you are giving Him the answer? 1 Thessalonians 5:16 NIV "Rejoice always." Philippians 4:4 NIV "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice." It doesn't say, rejoice when you feel like it or when you agree. You rejoice in the fact that God knows best and He will sustain you. But, if you don't have FAITH in that fact, you will fight and deny God blessing you or teaching you something.

When Jesus was born, God told Joseph to run to Egypt so Jesus will not be killed. He just ordered Joseph to get up and go. He didn't tell him how long he will stay there. He told him, go. Well, Joseph knew that if God told him to go, there will come a time that God will speak to him again when to leave or where to go next. It was quite a few years before Joseph was instructed to go else where. If Joseph didn't wait on God and would have moved else where before God told him so, do you realize what could have happened? Jesus would of been killed prematurely before He could have fulfilled His duty on this earth (to bring us salvation) just because Joseph didn't WAIT. We are so impatient, especially these days. We pray for one day and the next we give up. We say, God, why aren't you answering? We get bitter at God. (Also, sometimes we are waiting for answers from God about some mess we got ourselves into by our own understanding in the first place. He will help you, but you will have to WAIT and surrender it all. He will sure get you out of the mess but He will need you to show Him that you will trust Him this time.) God is just trying to see if you will trust Him and He sure knows the perfect timing for everything. If you cannot wait for an answer, God cannot entrust you with what He is about to give you. REALIZE THAT. You do not have the proper character to receive it, to sustain it then, to prosper it and grow in it. One has to be prepared, tried, and molded before receiving any big or small thing.

God promised Joseph that all of his brothers will bow down to him. He promised him that he will have a big responsibility and hold a high position. Well, God tested and tried him for thirteen years!!! Joseph, patiently waited and always had FAITH in his God. He didn't waiver. We waiver after a day, a month or a year and that results in us denying the very best that God has for us in store. We limit God by our impatience. Joseph could have said, God, what kind of God are you? My very own brothers sell me away? You think it was easy for Joseph to fathom why God allowed that? I don't think so. But he knew if he has FAITH, God will sustain him and take him out of this absurd situation. When we have FAITH in God, it means, we love God, we seek Him, we have His peace in our hearts and it really doesn't matter what will happen as long as we have God's peace and Holy Spirit with us and in us. (When one experiences that, nothing could be more meaningful and more important.) If Joseph didn't have FAITH in God alone, he would of never been able to fulfill God's promise and purpose for his life. He trusted God BLINDLY. How could we ever expect God to do something great in our lives with out FAITH in Him alone?

David was named King of Israel and was ordained by God. How many years did he have to hide in caves and be on the constant run? God needed him to learn to trust Him, to have FAITH in Him, to DEPEND solely on HIM so that when he is ruling Israel, he will not lead unto his own understanding but only on God. How did you think the little David walked towards Goliath? He walked in blind FAITH in the name of the Lord. Do you see that FAITH is something we cannot see. It requires a BLIND STEP. Hebrews 11:1 NIV says, "Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." FAITH is something that cannot be physically fathomed. It is completely spiritual.

God created us to not be independent of Him. No matter how you try, you are not designed to be independent.

How do we WAIT on the Lord while having FAITH?

First of all, WAITING is uncomfortable. It's not easy. It requires patience and endurance of patience. We have to accept that. Then, it requires learning how to hear God's voice. You can only wait if someone is communicating to you or giving you some kind of hope. Think about it....examples in your own life.
FAITH, WAITING and hearing God's voice are IMPOSSIBLE with out having a relationship with God. Having true unwavering FAITH that God will answer and deliver requires constant, daily contact with God. It requires communication. It requires one to foster a relationship. If you do not speak to the Lord daily, genuinely and sincerely, and you do not read the prescription book to life, the BIBLE, you should never expect to learn to hear God's voice or be able to tell if it's God or the devil speaking to you. That's a given. When you start hearing God's voice, you are then able to wait because He is speaking to you along the way and you are filled with His peace and trust so it becomes easy to wait. There is this content and rejoicing in that God meanwhile is orchestrating what ever it is you are waiting and hoping for. No matter how much pain you might be going through physically or spiritually, you will still be able to have FAITH in God. The secret to FAITH is God's peace. When you have His peace, you will know you have it, the peace. I cannot explain the feeling. It's this satisfaction and fulfillment that nothing and no one could ever provide to you. His peace gives you hope and thus you are able to WAIT for the answer.

It is impossible to please God with out FAITH. That's a very strong statement. Hebrews 11:6 FAITH is completely spiritual. It is not tangible. It is not possible to achieve with out earnestly seeking the Lord. There are thousands of christians who say they believe in God but have zero FAITH in what He promises. How do you then plan to please God?

If you are lacking FAITH:

Start communicating to God simply but sincerely
Attend to your Spiritual life the same as you do to your physical life. Why do you shower daily? Why do you dress yourself and brush your hair? Why do you eat? It's logic, right? Why is spiritual life then neglected? Because it's non tangible? You've really got to think about this seriously. God looks on the inside and we only usually attend to the outside because we are so worried what will others say or think. Will others accept us.... oh, but it's proper to shower and have clean clothes on. Yes, but remember, God still only looks on the inside. At the end of the day, if it's your last day, what will you really care about? That's what you should start caring about. Matthew 23:37 NIV "Woe to you, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs , which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean." Jeremiah 17:10 NIV "I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind..."
Ask Him to strengthen your FAITH
Ask Him to help you accept His ways
Ask Him to fill you with His peace
Ask Him to help you hear His voice
Ask Him to fill you with His Holy Spirit
Ask Him to reveal to you what areas in your life need attention and improvement
Ask Him to mold you into His character (this is a tough one and painful one :) but the most fulfilling one...it requires dying to a lot of things :) it requires chewing mature meat, not drinking baby milk ...)

GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION
God never promised it will be easy

GREATNESS requires SACRIFICE 

With love,
Antonina


My desire is to simply share what God has been doing in my life and what He has been revealing to me personally, with hopes that it might encourage or enlighten anyone reading. This is not an attempt to teach or to show off my writing skills. :)


(image taken from google)