CLIMB THAT MOUNTAIN...

Hi lovely people.... it's been awhile... I have written many posts that are waiting to be posted... haven't gotten around to them because LIFE happens.. ya know... but, this post has been on my mind a lot and it feels like I have to relive it again and again... SO, I made an effort that it's got to be posted tonight. 

ONE of the BIGGEST things I am learning right now is that every time GOD gives you a new GIFT, a new BLESSING into your life, you will NEED to surrender it back to HIM and only then will you be able to REAP all the benefits of it in JOY! It's tough... but, when you do surrender, I read somewhere recently - "the more you surrender the greater the victory will be," the greater the result....because when it's completely in GOD'S hands, ALL OF THE GOODNESS COMES OUT IN IT'S RIGHT TIME, COLOR, and SEASON! BELIEVE ME!!! With practice and experience it will get easier...  but still, every time it seems hard... this time around, I had to say GOD, I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SURRENDER THIS, just please help me. Here it is... I don't know, TAKE IT!!!... DO IT! I don't know how... and, the other big No. TWO lesson that goes hand in hand with this... is TO NOT LEAN ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING... literally have to remind myself of that bazillion times a day. The enemy will be like... "what if.." what if... what if... SHOULD not BE IN YOUR VOCABULARY... GOD says, YES or NO! There is no what if... if it is WHAT IF that's the enemy's voice... and this WHAT IF will always MAKE YOU LEAN ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING ... you start assuming and compiling essays into your future that are lies and you try to control the situation with your OWN UNDERSTANDING, and fear invades your life, but, LISTEN TO ME, if you want God's approval and blessing in your life and truly live a prospering life, YOU HAVE TO AGAIN AND AGAIN, EVERYDAY TURN OFF your own understanding. I truly understand now what your own understanding means now... You cannot surrender and lean on your own understanding, IT WILL NEVER WORK.

so now... here goes the post to getting THAT blessing but it's all about THEN surrendering and after comes ANOTHER blessing... (GOD makes sure this way you will depend on HIM ALL THE TIME... like a real child does to her father... never lets go of daddy's hand.)

REVELATION 1: OBEDIENCE = WORSHIP!! That's what real worship REALLY MEANS GUYS!
Ooooh!!!!! Look at what Abraham said: we are going to WORSHIP God!!

Read this story a million times but for the first time noticed that Abraham said, "WORSHIP."
"He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.”"
- ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭22:5

Servants wait here NOT while I go kill my son, but while I go WORSHIP my God by doing what He commanded me!!! And, how He commanded me to worship! Abraham’s obedience to God was what worshipping meant!! Act of obedience is the real WORSHIP not just singing praises on Sunday morning! It’s what you do for the rest of the week. You sing to God I love you and need you, I trust you... but are these words true throughout the week? Do you live them out? Are you crazy enough to trust God even when He seems so ridiculous ....and when sometimes you just don't understand ....

Abraham, is he crazy ... he was on the way to commit “murder”.... what did you think was in his head? After returning and telling his servants yes, I killed Isaac, my worship is done.... OK, Abraham, you have lost your mind...

Well, he wasn’t concerned about that!!! He trusted and loved God SOO MUCH that nothing mattered!! Can you even fathom this??!! He took God for his word! ‬‬Doing what God says is the real sincere WORSHIP and believing He is FAITHFUL, He will deliver!!! He just needs you to SURRENDER!! Hallelujah!!

What do you need to sacrifice? What do you need to do that you think God is crazy for making you do it? Is your life Monday through Saturday worshipping God? Your acts?

God do you receive my ways, my acts as worship? Do I worship you not by simply saying, I love You, but also by my actual living? How would you like me to worship you? What other obedience do you desire from me?

God I glorify you & praise you for who you are!!!!! Help me to be obedient in EVERYTHING to you because I want to worship you, because I love you, Lord! Not just because I want blessings, but I want you to be pleased. I want you to approve of me and my life and actions!! Because it is good to be here in your presence! It is bliss! It is an ultimate joy to be obedient to you because where there is You, there is heaven!

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

Oooh God is speaking today

REVELATION 2: YOU CAN CLAIM IT ONLY AT THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN

“So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.””
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭22:14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Ya see, for God to provide you’ve got to climb that MOUNTAIN!!!! He ONLY provides when you’re on His mountain, not yours!! That’s where His presence is! That’s where His Will is! That’s where His promise is!! His terms not yours, because His are PERFECT!

People LOVE to throw this phrase around that "GOD will provide..." But they never finish or rather begin the sentence and the real name that Abraham called it was, "On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided!" Not your mountain, God's mountain... well, you have got to climb it... it takes time, patience, endurance, PERSEVERANCE, trust, not giving up, imagining the top of the mountain more loudly and clearly then the current first 1/4 part of the mountain, NEVER GIVING UP, rejoicing, being thankful, desiring God's will more than anything in life, desiring God's presence more than anything in life, talking to God through out the journey to the top, staying humble, meek, living and climbing the mountain by GOD'S WORD, always BELIEVING and NEVER GIVING UP.... and then... unimaginable meets you at the top, GOD HIMSELF meets you. WOW! 

You see... when we surrender, we fully come into obedience to Him. We suddenly come into His presence and He fills us with His love, His peace, His strength and you even forget what you surrendered at that point, because in HIS presence, NOTHING matters. But, then, He provides what He promised... and it comes to you more abundantly and greater form than you could have ever imagined. That's what kind of GOD my GOD IS! The ONLY GOD. 

God, thank you for speaking to me and leaving your WORD for me so that I can taste heaven on earth. You always leave me speechless. Thank you for your love. Just, THANK YOU. My heart glorifies you. I love you, FATHER. 

Father, please continue teaching me to surrender it all to you. I'll just say, YES, you lead the way... MY LIFE IS YOURS



I hope this resonates with you... encourages you.. lifts you up...builds you up... inspires you... May God bless you abundantly!!!

Sincerely from the bottom of my heart, with love, 
Antonina 

You are ENOUGH the way I designed YOU!

Wow!!! This verse: YOU'RE ENOUGH 

"If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves."

- Galatians 6:3

So.... just like we often add more to ourselves, to our name, to our image, in front of people, on social media, etc... when we show not who we really are and we make something more of ourselves than we are, or that we are perfect and are not afraid and we are happy but inside we are corrupt... we are broken, full of fear, we deceive ourselves because we hide who we really are - same way when we are what we are and we think less of ourselves and we devalue ourselves and lower ourselves, and try to be someone else, and judge ourselves, hate ourselves, we ALSO DECEIVE OURSELVES!!! We tell ourselves that we are not good enough, we don't accept ourselves by constantly comparing!! 

Look at this wow verse: 

“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.”

Galatians 6:4-5 NIV

Accept YOURSELF!!! YOU!! Jesus accepts you as you are!!! Come to Him as you are, SURRENDER!! Say, God here I am. Help me be content with my body, with my current job, my spouse, my life, my gifts, my current everything. Give Him Your body, your mind, your actions, your soul and then HE starts transforming the areas that need to be!!! Say here I am. Help me be ME by your original design, how you want to see me in your eyes, how you intended me. You don't have to strive to be anyone else!! Help me see the amazing qualities you put into me and use them! 

You don't have to be what the society is showing you that you should be!! You don't have to be skinny to be accepted, you don't need to be accepted by any human accept GOD!!!!!! And God wants YOU, you alone, not you trying to be someone else!!! He gave you a special identity!!! Unique!!! You're enough!!!!!! Enough, Because God created you!! He spoke you into being!! Often, we are so busy lowering ourselves and demolishing ourselves to a point that we cannot see and appreciate and manifest the real beautiful qualities God put into us. We reject how He designed us!! He put all of it inside us and we are just blind because we compare instead of looking into our own beautiful souls!!! 

That's why there are so many problems!! Addictions to food, alcohol, drugs, sex, self-image, working out, DIETS, you name it because ultimately we reject OURSELVES & The CREATOR!!! We don't spend time thanking God and taking delight in who we are, what qualities are in us that He put in from the moment He spoke your soul into being. He is the drug EVERYONE is looking for but keep rejecting and that's why we can't see WHO WE REALLY ARE in His eyes in both directions, the good qualities and the ones that need to be thrown out because by design they're not part of our original design! Although, I think the biggest problem is that we actually don't focus on the good in us, we hate ourselves, we ignore the good and then only keep on adding more of what we don't need. 

Sharing with you what I'm currently experiencing! God showed me this morning AGAIN, when you please Me, seek me, your fear of humans leaves! Fear of the future... NOTHING MATTERS! Everything goes away, all fear, all self-judgement.... you stand just as you are in the moment and God loves you!! FAITH in His LOVE erases FEAR!!! The good qualities that God put into me, He takes delight in it!! Why should I sit and tell God, you didn't design me good enough... who am I? Like dust in His eyes, but when I accept Him and take delight in Him, and thank Him for what He has done for me and how He designed me, then He says, YOU ARE MY CHILD, MY MOST PRIZED POSSESSION, FEARFULLY &  WONDERFULLY MADE, THE ONE WHO I GAVE MY ONLY SON FOR. 

“He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.”

James 1:18 NLT When we accept the truth, Jesus Christ, we are REBIRTHED and that's when we finally become His most PRIZED POSSESSION. 

Guys... since when has it become ok to live our lives in FEAR??? The world is filled with FEAR!! Why?! Because we have rejected the God!! Faith in God ERASES Fear!! The opposite of Faith is fear! Everyone walks around and says it's ok, everyone has fears.... IT'S NOT OK. IT'S NOT NORMAL!! We, the society have made countless things normal when God says it's Not. We are going against God, against ourselves. How do you think the brain is supposed to handle it? It simply cannot and that's why we are SICK! You don't have to suffer and walk your life on egg shells. Surrender... Jesus is Love. Jesus is the real drug. The only one that will ever satisfy you, love you unconditionally, fight for you, and pronounce you "Not guilty" when you allow Him to clean up your mess. 

“It is written: “ ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.’ ””

Romans 14:11 NIV 

“And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.”

Hebrews 11:6 NLT

Don't allow your pride to harden your heart. What do you have to loose? 

With all my love through Jesus Christ,

Antonina 

PRIDE & LOVE = ANSWERS to EVERYTHING

I have been thinking a lot on this subject, observing myself and others, and changing myself, or more like inviting God and allowing Him to change me.... I have been wanting to write on this awhile ago and finally came the time after I read two verses and all the points culminated together in these verses:

"His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men."

- ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭28:3-4‬‬

When God's presence, light, love, and awe come in complete literal, physical and visual form - most of us cannot handle it... most of us cannot receive it!! His light is blinding, it's so loving - and when real LOVE comes, most seldom can receive it... most reject it. This is who God is. This shows how far we are from knowing God's love, how far we are being capable of receiving it, and how little real love we desire. Some will say, she's too nice, he's too nice, just love, love, sweetie, honey, and some will say it's all emotions .... it makes some people angry...let me tell ya folks, this is who God is... when He shows up into our hearts it's almost uncomfortable at first, it's too much, it melts us.. and if it's too much for you and it makes you feel weak and you feel like you're melted but you want to not feel weak, that means YOU'VE got a lot of pride to let go. The only time LOVE can be too much for one, is when they're full of pride, when they want to rely on their own power. People want to be wanted because they want to do something with their might and feel satisfaction and honor because they did something. But, God wants us to rely completely on Him, He wants to be wanted. So when His love fills you up and you feel weak and like you're not capable of anything, you feel like a child, and like the most vulnerable thing- STAY THERE, that's where real life is and freedom is, that's where safety is!!!! That's were paradise is! Being that gentle, soft, easily breakable thing in Jesus' arms like my little niece in her father's hands in the picture above. That's where I also want to be!! In Jesus' hands!

I've noticed that most people are embarrassed to receive love... they are embarrassed to be vulnerable, why? Because for some reason one thinks it's a weakness ... God forbid someone sees your weakness because you allowed to be helped, to be loved... Lord have mercy! How I wish people were that embarrassed to be angry, to be negative, to be embarrassed to sin. Can you imagine the world we would have? It would be a lot more similar to God's original dream.

We all want to be saviors to someone and do something, but seldom want to receive it... leave the savior business to the actual Savior who's name is Jesus!! You can be His instrument to salvation but you could never be the actual savior ... it's time you allow God to fully love you, you allow to be loved by Him and the ones He puts around you. It's time to feel weak ...!!!!! Yet strong, because then you're the most powerful one when bathing in His love, living in it, and by it!! It's time to say to others and to receive when others say sweet words to you, hug you, love you, it's time to stop being a hero, it's time to be a vulnerable, humble child!! That's where real paradise is. Jesus did say, unless you become like a child you could never enter the kingdom of God. Why?! 
"Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Mathew 18:3

WHY?! Your answer is above. Children receive love very easily, that's all they ever desire! In the loving environment they grow and mature healthily, peacefully, and always want to be cuddled, loved, and to be helped! This is what Jesus was trying and still is to tell us!!! That was His entire mission on this earth is to get this across. Children love easily, let go easily, forgive easily because they haven't exercised their PRIDE. 

Challenge yourself today.... not worth withholding love and not receiving it because you're a business man or a professional who has to stay "Strong." Or you are just TOUGH. You will only live with regret!!!

Let me tell you, I've come aloooong way! When I finally started allowing to be loved by God, my pride is slowly chipping away and more and more love is filling my heart. I'm not embarrassed to give or to receive love now. I love the fact that I feel like a child, helpless, weak when I'm loved. I love it that I'm not embarrassed to show my vulnerability. I think that's one of the most beautiful and attractive things about any human. That's whem we see the real human, the core of their heart not trying to hide behind prideful walls. I finally want to be helped, and loved. I praise God for that!!!
Don't reject His love and those around you who want to shower you with love because they have so much of it that they'll explode otherwise if they don't share  ... (Warming: that's what God's love does.)

We all speak of love.... maybe we know how to give it "most of the time" or more like "sometimes" but we sure do not know how to receive it ... (but pride does not allow us to give love fully or to receive it... so if you want to play this love game... pride has to go out the door... it's not welcome in the game, it only helps you loose the game)

In order to have, receive and give complete love, pride has to be completely absent, vacant, non existent.

Allow Jesus to wash your feet!!!I was talking about this with a friend... why did Peter say, absolutely not! Never!! Jesus, are you kidding me??!! You washing my feet, cannot happen, ever, I can't allow that... why did Peter say that?!
“No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”- ‭‭John‬ ‭13:8

Peter had pride, big pride... even putting yourself down is a form of pride!! Aha! Yes, it is. (And all these years you speaking negatively to yourself and about yourself to others you thought you were being humble.... hmm, absolutely not!! Ya were just strengthening your pride more and more and shoving love out the door. Praising yourself and boasting about your might and lowering yourself are equally the same and harmful PRIDE.) Peter couldn't have allowed JESUS, of all people to kneel down and wash his feet. He wasn't able to become a helpless child, he couldn't allow to be so weak for Jesus to have to wash his feet... Jesus said you can't have a part with me... you cannot feast with me, you cannot then have my blood have power over you, you cannot sit at the same table with me unless I wash your feet!! Unless you allow me to love you!!!! Unless you fully become vulnerable, weak, desire to be loved and helped, and unless you fully receive my love, you cannot have part with me!!! 

Can you imagine this picture? Picture a president, or I don't know, someone really big in your life that is a celebrity to you.... coming to you wanting to wash your feet...to feed you, to hold you, do laundry for you. You are an adult but would be treated as a child would. How do you feel right now imagining this scenario? I bet you feel embarrassed, like a fool... and annoyed. Right? Shunning away and feeling very uncomfortable. Or, I don't deserve this. I mean come on, why would you kneel down to me. Who am I. I am nothing. You feel weak. Eh?! But you do not want to feel weak... I am so not up to your level, you cannot wash my feet. I am much lower than you, you cannot just treat me well and love me. Because, I can do this myself. I don't need help. Well, this signifies PRIDE. Many people have a hard time seeing how lowering oneself is the same form of pride as raising oneself. 

So, what will you choose? Pride or LOVE? Being a mature adult walking by own might or helpless child in Jesus' arms? 

You guys this is serious stuff.... I invite you to think about it.... I think this is the biggest problem in the world, in our lives, and in the lives of "Christians." Because of pride, we are not able to receive Christ's love completely and understand who He really is. We are too knowledgeable for our own good. But scripture says that to know THIS LOVE, God's love, really know it, that means feel it, receive it and live by it, it says, this LOVE SURPASSES knowledge. (Ephesians 3:19) That means it shouldn't even make sense by our adult standards. And unless you are a child you will understand that it surpasses all knowledge. It means you literally need to be a fool.. you will feel like one. (1st Corinthians 4:10)  You will be a fool to the world. A fool for Jesus. That's what I want to be. TO HIM I will look like a child who wants to be loved.  

We are all so professional living in these PROPER walls we have established... and the world will teach you to look out for yourself and to teach everyone to treat you PROFESSIONALLY, and respectfully, and honorably...it won't teach you to put the other cheek if you got hit, like Jesus, it will teach you to hit back, with what???!! More hate and negativity and pride because you need to teach them a lesson?! Hitting back with love won't ever make sense to the human mind... logically it doesn't make sense because you will be treated the same again. NO! I beg to differ. This is why people don't trust love. They haven't tried it and try to teach their own "logic" lessons. A time would come and you would see the fruit of it, that is if you endured and proved your love. But, of course, it's easier to hit back with hate. You know why? Because to hit back with love, ya going to need to break your pride.. that's tough, but oh how good it is to hit back with love, because you edify yourself with love. It builds you up, it doesn't destroy you when hate comes out. Jesus says that "What goes into someone's mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them." Mathew 15:11 So, when you hit back with hate you hurt others and YOURSELF, it defiles you. Same way, if you hit back with love, it builds you up, it edifies you, it heals you, it restores you and others. You will always win if you simply receive Jesus' love and be filled to the measure of the fullness of GOD (Ephesians 3), act by this love and you will be the biggest HERO and the only kind of HERO that will matter now and eternally. Your biggest weapon should be LOVE. But you cannot use it unless you receive it, allow God to train you and TRY you, and then you go to the field with only this weapon that surpasses all knowledge. You have to crack the egg first to see what comes out from the inside even if it's beautiful from the outside. Well, that's what you should beg God to do, ask Him to crack you, to break you to really see if your yoke bleeds love or hate when it hurts and matters to you the most. 

God's love won't ever make sense logically. Take the knowledge and logic out and then you can receive it. Just like a child. Look at that beautiful Lilian in my brother's arms, what knowledge and logic she has??? The only logic she has and knows in his arms is LOVE. 

with love, 
antonina Chicago airport. August 8, 2017

A Great Prayer

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3:14-20‬ ‭NIV‬‬ 

This is how we should pray for one another and bless one another! This is what we should speak into each other's lives instead of our own knowledge. God's immense love surpresses knowledge! This I wish to all of you!  

“Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.”

Hello dear readers, 

The other day I was getting worried more and more about some areas in my life and how this will be, and how that will be.... I know that the spirit of worries (which gives birth to fear) is not from the Lord so I go and speak to Him immediately to get rid of it and to hear what does He want to tell me instead. 2 Timothy 1:7 "But God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 

I started praying and glorifying God!! The divine peace that is usually in my heart but wasn't complete because of my worry was starting to return but it wasn't all complete yet... it's like in my heart I know what it feels like, what it makes me feel, how happy it makes me feel, and there was still a small percentage that I was still missing.. So, I said, God, I will now try to hear you through your WORD, please show me, guide me, answer me, or encourage me of how to wait for your answer. I open up my bible app and it says:

“Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭24:35‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I right away had that connection in my heart that God is speaking to me. It's this thing inside you that is a Spiritual and a physical feeling and you know when God answers you for the specific question you have been praying about or thinking of. It's like the puzzles come together and provide harmony. It's a feeling of completeness and silent mutual understanding. It's this thing that feels so right 100% and there is no swaying of even 1%. It's difficult to describe but if you search the Lord on a daily basis and you ask and receive, you will know exactly what I'm talking about. 

So, through this scripture God underlined to me, my dear one, what I promised and what I said, my words will never pass away, they will be true, they will be a reality!!! Then I started remembering what God showed me through scripture a few days prior to this:

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah‬ ‭17:7-8‬ ‭NIV God said to me, if your confidence is completely in me, your faith is completely fixed on me, you will be that tree. No matter what you think you need, I will provide!! You will always produce fruit and stand strong and nothing will stumble you!!! These words went so deep in my heart and I believe them whole heartedly because I have experienced it and I again put my trust in Him for future things I'm asking about. 

But then again, I am like God, what I'm asking for, I need it in just a few weeks, doesn't seem possible to happen. And God says to me: 

“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭24:36‬ ‭NIV‬‬ This underlined to me, just trust me, you don't know and don't need to know when I will do something!!! Just trust me!! When you are with me by my right side, I provide everything, I am faithful!! 

And God continued to say:

“However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him—”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭2:9‬ ‭NIV I will give you so much more!!!! You can't even imagine how, in what way, and how much!! It will be beyond your wildest dreams!!! 

Remember that:

“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.””

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19:26‬ ‭NIV‬‬ Hallelujah!!! 

Now, if I continue to give all of me to God, all my time, all my money, all my gifts & talents, EVERYTHING, ALL OF ME, if and when I surrender to Him, He will provide that you won't even know what to do with it!!!! If He is the reason I am on this planet.... friends, then the coin flips for completely different results of how you live your life and what happens in your life. 

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD ALMIGHTY, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be enough room to store it." Malachi 3:10 NIV This to me was unbelievable...He says, if you don't believe me, "JUST TEST ME!" this is not talking just about money... I asked the Lord, tell me what does this mean to me personally, how can I fulfill this and understand this and assume it, into my life? God showed me that everything I have is his. All of me! My body, my TIME, my money, my talents, my wisdom, my love, EVERYTHING HE GAVE ME!!! The biggest thing He was pointing out to me was TIME!!! It is HIS!! How much time do you give HIM?? This is not talking about church time!! This is TIME with HIM in thought, prayer, word, and EVEN FELLOWSHIP with friends, or strangers... and, He showed me, if you do everything for me and in my name, EVERYTHING, sleep, eat, walk, sing, speak, think, don't worry, I will provide!! IF your eyes, are constantly fixed on me and you consult me regarding everything in your life, all of the above promises you don't have to worry, I WILL DELIVER! I AM GOD, MY WORDS WILL NEVER PASS. 

Another thing God was showing me is how to share even when I don't have much financial stability at the moment. Those who know me, I like to eat healthy and I purchase healthy things because I love them. I love to make my food look beautiful because I like beauty in everything. So, lately, the Lord also showed me, share. (I live in a communal space.) Lord filled me with so much love that it wasn't possible not to share. I wanted to share because I wanted someone else to experience what I love so much!! (I was even surprised at myself.... but then I realized, when you surrender to the Lord, you do things without even planning and then you look back and think, hmm, wow, how did I do that or decide to do that.) It edified me so much because so many others were happy and I was able to share my love through what I love. It also provided such an incredible time of fellowship! And, that my friends, worships the LORD! 

but.... in order for God's words to be a REALITY in my life, I have to allow HIM by believing HIM. That is the only requirement of me otherwise, I limit God and He wants to but cannot when I do not let HIM, when I take a detour, when I don't believe, when I take my own mighty route, when I leave His umbrella, his shield:            (unbelief is a sin...a whole other topic for later) 

BELIEVE IN FAITH. STAND IN FAITH. And is one sermon last week I heard at TIMES SQUARE CHURCH "Exchange your doubts for God's promises." SO, I understand, that sometimes I have to repeat that daily and be reminded because the devil will say, look, you will just not make it. You need to do something, you need to go and do something with your might.... well, my friends, don't believe that voice, wait upon the LORD!! Ask HIM to guide you daily!! Lord, what do I need to do today! What do I need to focus on today! Send me the right people, put me in the right place and time. Guide me. His HOLY SPIRIT will guide you and give you thoughts and intuition of where to go, what to do. You will think, oh I just got this idea to do this and this happened, well if you are in tune with God, it is His Spirit who puts those ideas on your mind and heart. 

BELIEVE!! Persevere!! Do not relent! Hold on to God, do not let HIM GO. YOU WILL STRIVE 100% in all the areas of your life. HIs table is big and anyone can come freely to... but often, we don't want to take what's free. I guess the only thing God ask for in exchange, is our sin and our doubts. Now, that can be hard to let go of, but if you imagine and believe what He is giving you in exchange, it will be easy to let go, and throw all that garbage away that only brings pain. 

I know, if you are reading this and you are not a believer or have been struggling, it might sound like a bunch of made up stuff, delirious, crazy, living in a bubble..... but again, all I can say is what's in my heart, what's true, what I have lived through and saw myself... it is lasting, it is real, it's not just in my head.... just try it yourself. Humble yourself so you can witness if this GOD is true. IT is the only thing that will remain true forever. 

with all my love,

antonina 

He desires YOU, SINCERITY & your TIME

"But seek first [the] KINGDOM and His RIGHTEOUSNESS, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33 NIV

In other words it says, seek God first. Spend time with Him in conversation and His WORD. If you truly and sincerely do that because you want to do it, He will provide for you EVERYTHING you need. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW TRUE THAT IS. I personally have been witnessing this in my life in real time. God is so real and so faithful. But remember, it is a two way street!!! If you start seeking God after you haven't sincerely for awhile, it might seem like God is not hearing you or is not doing anything for awhile. That's when you have got to wait a little and have FAITH and show God you are truly inviting God into your life and that you want His provision.

Over two years ago, when I made a promise to myself that I will read the Bible daily and spend time worshiping God and speaking to Him, I remember things were VERY QUIET at first. I would sit on my bed in silence for long periods of time before I would find something to say to God. You know, God met me where I was. He would still come to me in His presence even when I was silent. I wouldn't say much because I wanted every word to be meaningful and not fake. I wanted my conversations with Him to be as natural and real as with people. I didn't want to just rumble how so many of Christians do and do not even remember what we prayed about.

It takes a little bit of time to restore the relationship ... it's awkward at first... ya know? The biggest thing you need to know is that God is listening to the sincerity of your heart even in silence. The fact that you are expressing the desire to spend time with Him and get to know God, He is already there for you. It also might feel like you are ashamed to talk to God after not talking to Him for so long. DO NOT listen to that, that is the devil making you feeling ashamed with hopes that you will just give up because it's uncomfortable to rekindle the conversation. God accepts you exactly how you are and He wants to hear from you.

I used to tell myself and others that I am so busy and that I really do not have time to read the Bible and pray, and attend services, unless it was a Sunday service. Ya know, all I will say now is that I have so much time now for my GOD!!! I become sick feeling if I do not read the WORD and speak to my Father. I all of a sudden do not have time for meaningless hang outs, social media hang out, (I'm still working on that one a little bit... :) I'm much better but still could be better), movies, shows.... I'm serious, being very honest, I have no time or interest in these things because I am now thirsting only more and more to be filled with the WORD of God, with the PEACE that He provides, with His Spirit and HIS PRESENCE. There is nothing better in this world. I can say that 100%!!! I am amazed that I am saying this now. It is true! And, I cannot believe how amazing things are going in every other area of my life. God is slowly changing things and I just want to praise Him day and night. He is so amazing!!!!!!!

Believe the WORD of God. It will become so evident in your life.

Pastor Henry Wright says in his book A more excellent way something very intriguing about tithing. What does it really mean? It's not just money. We have got to hung up on that. A lot of Christians just preach that and way too much about money, which is wrong. (I think the money part shouldn't be talked in church at all! If we pray and believe in God, He will provide. Some churches just have baskets by the door and who wants to, drops money in and those churches have never lacked for what they are praying for. God has met the financial needs of the church and their missions time after time. Isn't that a miracle?!) Anyway, Henry says, there are 168 hours in a week and so you must give 10% at least, to God alone. That means reading His word, speaking to Him, worshipping Him for your own growth and edification, first. That folks is 16.8 hours a week, only. That is about 2.4 hours a day. Think about it. How much time do you really give to God?

Everything is God's. Everything you own. You yourself are not even yours, you are God's because He created you. So, all of it is God's and should be for God. And, one needs to ask permission from God to do anything to oneself and when giving things away to others, also.

Bottom line....I have to say, if you do not spend time in God's word, prayer and worship, NEVER ASSUME OR AWAIT ANYTHING FROM GOD. It's impossible to become an adult in this journey of life with out that. It's impossible to have change happen in our families, our lives, our jobs, our hearts. It's impossible to have a truly amazing, meaningful and fulfilling life with that CONTINUOUS peace in your heart. It's impossible to reach your dreams and find a true purpose in life that will NEVER waiver. We were created with a void for a reason. And, no matter what we do, what we accomplish, we will still have that void, and it CAN ONLY BE FILLED WITH GOD, HIS SPIRIT, AND HIS WORD. AMEN.

I love you all. I pray that anyone reading this will be guided by the Lord and can accept and feel His perfect love. Make a small step everyday and you will live to see daily miracles and God's provision in your life.


With love, in the name of Jesus,
Antonina

ps... I would recommend you read the entire chapter of Matthew 6 not just verse 33 that I quoted above. It will give you spiritual food for days and it will begin to change your life.

ps 2... :) I all of a sudden don't even need to spend so much time practicing my craft (my daily practicing of my technique, I'm an operatic signer... it's like being an athlete. to stay in shape, I must practice daily my vocalizes, my breath, music I will be performing, etc...) and, miraculously things are coming together so fast and easy, and it's 100% because I seek God first and He provides everything else I need. It's like I'm doing more in less time when I give time to GOD. It really is an amazing thing. I think also because with God you are able to clean out and recycle a bunch of dirt and things you do not need in your heart and mind. God exchanges the old stuff with new living word and so your mind becomes free and not crowded with meaningless garbage. So when I go to practice, my mind is easily focused and the tensions of life, or fear, are not there to interfere with my voice. Our voice brings/mirrors EVERYTHING out that is in our mind, heart and soul. That's all it can do. Voice is a muscle, (two one centimeter long muscles in your throat vibrating against each other when air is sent through) and the thing that colors it, IS. YOUR. SOUL. As soon as I have some hard times in life, some fear, unforgiveness, sin, tension with somebody, all of that immediately shows up in my singing. It is 100% true.

REMIND. REPEAT. REFRESH.

It seems as though my FAITH had to be tested and strengthened once again in even harder way right after I shared the last post with you publicly. I shared what has been true in my life and it had to continue being true after I wrote it. It's as if I was tested after I spoke the words into existence. The devil would send me thoughts, "Oh, maybe all of that was a lie. Or even if it wasn't, you think you will keep those words? You will fail next time."

This time I want to share about FAITH, again. It's FAITH after I thought I had FAITH. Ya see, it's not that I didn't, it's that it's a new challenge EVERYDAY. Each day we have a new day, we once again have to RENEW our minds and our FAITH. It grows daily and the stronger it grows the more the enemy will try to probe you with new ways, thoughts, and ideas to try to stumble you. He will try to convince you that it's all in your head. But, the bible says, "We demolish arguments and every PRETENSION that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV) This is one of the most important verses in the bible that we must put into doing in our daily lives. You see, one pastor clarified the following aspect very clearly that the only thing the devil can do is deceive us. Where can he do that? In OUR BRAIN, OUR MIND. The very first story in the bible of the devil deceiving a human was in the Garden of Eden. He deceived Eve and Adam. He didn't actually make Eve take the forbidden fruit. He simply entertained the idea and deceived her, which then she went and made the action herself. He then sits back and laughs. He just chills while you are doing the actual sin. With his deceives he also immediately is able to produce fear in us. Think about it, Eve immediately thought, well, if I don't know something that God knows then it makes me weak, not good enough.... Do you get what I'm saying? It's like peer pressure births FEAR immediately. Therefore, every time he tries to project PRETENSIONS that are pretensions, which are complete LIES, we must arrest these thoughts and demolish them with the WORD of God. And, important to note, it says, DAILY. Just like you eat daily, brush your teeth, shower, tell your beloved I love you, change your kid's diapers, you have to renew your MIND that many times. RENEW means REMIND, REPEAT, REFRESH.

For example, I will share a few personal things I was battling with over the last few weeks in terms of continue to have FAITH for. I had this absence of PEACE for a few days. It was almost as if there was no reason for it. I talked about this PEACE in the last post. It is one of the most precious things we can have. It's this divine fullness in one's heart. Contentment and you just want to praise God for everything and all you do is with ease. All of a sudden, it was gone. I didn't stop reading the WORD, or conversing with my best friend, Jesus, or praising Him.... what changed then? I kept asking God to show me, what's up? After a few days, I finally understood, why. All of a sudden I was once again worried for my future, my financial stability, job stability.... I mean look, how can you just be relaxed when you know it just won't happen because looking at the situation right now you are going down and you will be just laughed at. Maybe you should go get a different career. OKAY, that's when it suddenly hit me, that is not God speaking to me. I once again, SURRENDERED everything to God again in prayer, I praised God for His mercy and faithfulness and renewed my mind in the Word of God. God is always encouraging us. He always supports us, lifts us up, guides us, advices us and loves us. One thing that He never will say that things are just not going to work out and you will fail. They might not work out how we planned but He always works things out according to His plan. The key is that THE THINGS WORK OUT! The devil just straight up says that you will fail, you are worthless, you are not good enough, people don't like you and why do you think anyone will want to hire you. The devil wants you to be in constant FEAR and WORRY. (Which this is for another post sometime in the future how we really don't believe in God and deny Him when we have fear, worry, and have anxiety.)

Once I acknowledged that I started to focus and dwell on these thoughts, there was like a sudden boom to be like, WAKE UP. Who's report are you going to believe????? Where is the FAITH you talked about? What does the WORD actually tell me?

"The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1 NIV Can this be any clearer? If I believe in God and I sincerely search Him, why would I ever worry about my future? All of a sudden the fear was going away because when you understand that you have the most important thing in your life, Jesus, salvation and peace, all worry and anxiety disappears. BOOM. THE LIES is DEMOLISHED that you won't make it.

When everything seems to be going against you.... but you depend on Jesus, "Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident." Psalm 27:3. When you strongly believe and hold to God's truth, NOTHING WILL SCARE YOU OR WORRY you. But, we must read His WORD to remember that to be able to DEMOLISH the lies.

This verse was a BIG reminder for me. Instead of worrying about tomorrow, or months or a year ahead, TAKE HEART. "Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14 How do you stay strong? You continue reminding and believing what Jesus promised. "And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." John 14:13-14

"Don't let your hearts be troubled!!!!!!!!!! TRUST IN GOD." John 14:1-2
"I am leaving you with a gift- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27 Peace is a gift because the only way to have TRUE everlasting PEACE is through CHRIST. So, it clearly says that when we worry or are troubled, it is not from GOD!!!!! THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. This is one of the biggest aspects we miss and misunderstand. I used to even take pride in my stress and my worry. It is so wrong. Anytime you have fear, anxiety, worry, troubled heart my friend, remember that it is not from God. Run to God and renew your mind. Refresh it in His WORD. It is simply the devil keeping you busy with his lies. The result of it is that you are not focusing on your day and what you need to accomplish that will advance your physical life and relationship with God. That is his goal is to side track you and that you will loose hope. When you renew your mind, he has NO POWER over you when you are in the WORD of GOD and not believing what the world tells you. The world cannot give you peace because the devil is the ruler of the "world." So if you believe the  FEAR the WORLD dictates to you with all the current events especially, he will have control over you but if you STAY in the WORD of GOD AND ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN THE WORD NOT JUST IN GOD's EXISTENCE, the devil then absolutely has no power over you. You will have no fear, but only complete confidence in CHRIST. (John 14:30-31)

I cannot stress the importance of prayer enough!!! That's where most of my victories were happening. Prayer and the WORD! And, remembering how God saw you through in the past. I reminded myself of what God did for me just recently. I asked God that I really want to be in Italy again this summer to strengthen my fluency in the language, and be among the culture I love so much and then a few weeks later out of nowhere, I get an invitation to be in Italy this summer. That was a MIRACLE and answer to my prayer. I said, God I surrender my worries about my career to you (I know I'm in God's will for this career anyway, so why would I worry when I know He is guiding it) and as I am doing one job, I get a call for another. SEARCH HIM FIRST... "Seek the kingdom of God above ALL ELSE, AND LIVE righteously, and HE WILL give you everything YOU NEED." Matthew 6:33 NLT Can I get an AMEN?! THIS IS the truth, you guys. It really is. When you attend to any relationship and love and understanding grows, everything seems to workout. With God, it is definitely true. The truth shall set you free. John 8:32 Then, I had a troubling tooth. As a former dental assistant, I could tell that there is a chance it has a crack and I could spot a possible decay. I prayed for God to give me a miracle and heal it or work out a way financially. What do you think..... a few days later I walk into a fine dental office, Downtown Columbus, OH, they see me for free, and two days later I have the most expensive crown there is with no complications, in my mouth, for $500 total. (Exactly what I had in my bank at that time.) I leave the office in tears because GOD GAVE ME A MIRACLE. The dental office actually lost money doing that. They made zero. How did that happen? Prayer and FAITH! (This was also during a time right before a major performance I had coming up.) So, why would I not continue having FAITH that GOD WILL PROVIDE and SEE ME THROUGH???!! I then was in a crazy scary car crash walking out WITH OUT A SCRATCH. HELLO!!! That's a miracle.

"Come to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3 THIS IS WORD! Come on..... how can I believe the lies... If I asked, and I have FAITH, and I continue to WAIT, God will answer even beyond what I asked!!!!!!

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 If your mind just cannot rest, go to Jesus. Speak to Him. Try not to focus on the problem itself but just spend time with Jesus. PRAISE HIM, search Him, meditate on HIM and things will start melting away. I'm speaking from EXPERI|ENCE. This is not just some mumble jumble.... I'm actually telling you what I personally experience. Jesus is REAL!!!

"Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4. This to me spoke as I continue searching Him. Praise Him. Be content with him what He has already done and continue waiting, He will give you the desires of your heart. Take delight in Him. HE ALREADY PROMISED THAT YOU WILL GET TO THE OTHER SIDE. I was at a wonderful prayer service in the middle of Manhattan and I was so refreshed and encouraged. (I was in awe of how many hundreds of people came to pray together!) I was just crying non stop happy tears. When you are speaking to God and you are in HIS presence, everything melts away and you just want to abide in it forever. The thing is, that you can be in HIS presence DAILY! Anyway, the pastor pointed out that when Jesus said, let's go to the other side of the lake, that means he COMMANDED it. There was no maybe, or let's try, it was a SPOKEN COMMAND we are going to the other side. That means it will happen NO MATTER WHAT. Yes, there was a storm. IT DIDN'T MEAN THAT IT WILL STOP YOU FROM GETTING TO THE OTHER SIDE. NO MATTER WHAT, if you keep your FAITH IN HIM, YOU WILL GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!

You want your MIND to also be in SHAPE.... REMIND, REPEAT, REFRESH ... the moment you stop, you disintegrate

I know... my posts are probably too long.... I'm sorry, but I have to share when I share.


I pray that this serves as encouragement and fellowship to you and may God be praised through this!

With great love,
Antonina

xx